Lawyer Laughs

Of course, the main problem with most lawyer jokes is that lawyers don’t think they’re funny and other people don’t think they’re jokes.

Lawyer Jokes

95% of lawyers give the rest of the profession a bad name.

Two women are on a transcontinental balloon voyage. Their craft is engulfed in fog, their compass gone awry. Afraid of landing in the ocean, they drift for days. Suddenly, the clouds part to show a sunlit meadow below. As they descend, they see a man walking his dog.

One of the flyers yells to the figure far below, “Where are we?”

The man yells back, “About a half mile from town.”

Once again, the balloonists are engulfed in the mist. One flyer says to the other, “He must have been a lawyer.”

The other says, “A lawyer! How do you know that?”

The first says, “That’s easy. The information he gave us was accurate, concise, and entirely irrelevant.”

A doctor, an engineer and a lawyer were arguing over whose was the oldest profession. The doctor asserted that, of course, a physician removed Adam’s rib to create Eve. The engineer disagreed and said, “Of course, an engineer had to have constructed the Garden of Eden.”

“I have you both beaten,” the lawyer gloated. “Before Adam and Eve, before the Garden of Eden, before all creation, there was a state of chaos, and who but a lawyer could have created that?”